notes to no one in particular

01/02/26

It’s strange to me how quickly I can forget the fear.

The feeling of being held still haunts me, drowns me in longing, but fear fades. Wisps of mist blown away by the breeze.

I was lying there and I was shaking and four months ago a recreation was blinding. Now I know of it, but in the way I know of war. Distant. A mind must forget or it cannot survive.

What I want, is this: arms tight around me, listening to a heart beating strong and steady, the vibration of a voice, the warmth of another body, laughter, the gaping maw in my chest closing gently around us.

(It was all I wanted at the time too. A hand in mine.)

What I want is to be held.

this is just a test actually to see if this bit is easy or not. hint: it is or this wouldn't be here